If There's a Prize for Rotten Judgement, I Guess I've Already Won That

Wow. It's been a while since I've posted. School ended about a day or so ago. That's the first time I've ever cried in public, at least since i was really little. No reason not to mention it on my blog since Fazp's the only one who reads occasionally. But I'm so upset about this. I thought that i was upset then but that graduating would be a big step for me and it might be nice. I didn't even cry much at graduation except for a minute. But graduation was like any other graduation. It was so fake. It had nothing to do with school. I mean let's face it... it sucked to get up every morning. Lessons were painstakingly dull. And they made it sound like it was amazing. But it was amazing in a different way which i didn't realize until now. I guess that it really hit me on Friday that this was it. Hopefully, by summers end I'll be over it. I also realized that Disney movies are really amazing. I watched like three in a row yesterday and it just made everything better for those like... wow was that really... what... six hours? Oh my god. Pathetic. Recently I'm really confused. One second I'll regret everything and then the next I'll be so proud of myself. I'm kind of stuck in between thinking i did the right thing and thinking i could have done so much better. If you're never going to see someone again you might as well go for it right? I'm not even sure what I'm talking about anymore. With me, this could probably apply to anything. I don't know anymore. I wish it was the beginning of June, maybe banquet. There are definitely things i could've... no should've done and didn't. I wish i wasn't so afraid. I want to be brave but some things get me sometimes and it sucks.