Wouldn't It Be Nice If Reality Had a Reset Button?

I feel like i'm losing myself and i don't know what to do. Over this one year, i've lost so much. My two closest friends, my future dreams, and my control. I don't know what's going to happen now. I can't see the future anymore. I don't know what's going to happen to me; what i'm going to do, who i'm going to be, what i'm going to make of myself. I don't want to go to highschool. I want to rewind a few months. I want to apologize to cate's angry, scary mom and give jays zune back to him and handle problems differently then i did. I wish i could go back and change the things i did but i don't know how. I wish i didn't have to stand up for myself. I wish for once, just once, i would give in because in the long run, it doesn't make a difference. I wish i could change everything. All the what if's are going through my mind and it hurts. The last blog i made today, i was feeling this but i didn't know if this was too private to post here but i need to vent it and that's what i made this blog for in the first place. It's because of my selfish pride that i'm sitting here today going through the what if's? So what IF i did think cate's mom gave me a creepy look. Did i have to say it? Because it would have made all the difference. And what IF i'm irresponsible. Did i have to be so careless and lose it? Because, again it would have made a world of difference. Everything i do has reprocussions and none of them are good. I don't know how to deal with myself. I never make the right decisions. Ever. Am i just a horrible person? Because...even the two people i mentioned think im a liar. And they were so important to me. They knew me so well. So is it even remotely possible they're both wrong? I don't know what to think. I really wish i could just go back in time. In video games there's always a reset button. Wouldn't it be nice if reality had a reset button?