I Had To Say This

I'm not done yet. I know. I'm sorry but another thought just crossed my mind. Different subject so i decided to do a new blog. Tough for you. Alright so the "girl" i mentioned officially considers me an aquaintance. I had to get that off my chest. I kind of went from hurt and confused to hurt, confused and a bit pissed off. I wonder if she reads my blog? She might. That would be an uh-oh. But i somehow doubt it since i don't mean anything to her anyway. I wish that she would have told me in the first place she didn't care about me at all because now i feel like I spent all that time caring about her and crying over her and thinking she was my best friend in the world and all that garbage and then i was wrong. I feel stupid and embarassed. I have walls that go up and stay up and they came down for her and now i'm regretting ever taking them down in the first place. I can't open up to just anyone and for the past few years she was my confidant and she was probably more important then my family was to me. And now the biggest let down wasn't that her mom didn't want me to see her but that she totally agreed with her mom that i'm a liar and she's perfectly ok with it. If i was in her place i would have fought my mom tooth and nail to see her again but i guess i don't deserve the same respect. Love always goes wrong for me whether it's romance or friendship.